to get to love

how do you get from here to love?
hungry for it every day,
grilling yourself about how it will feel,
making yourself sick to have it,
making yourself sick when you don't have it,
making yourself sick when you hold it in your hands,
knowing that you you do not own it,
and then release your arm,
letting it fall to your side,
your palm open,
feel the wind scooping it out,
and walk away,
and make another step towards it.