recovery

is life long
walking a razor,
poised on heels
to make you look taller.

you don't speak the word
much.
rule number one is:
you don't tell people.
you don't speak
the scenario.
the harshness
that men can't sleep next to.
the darkness
men don't know.

you don't tell,
even as you're
fingering it in your pocket,
turning it over
between slips of silk,
turning it into
a moth-eaten worry,
that won't let itself
be discarded,
a static-filled
candy wrapper.

you convince yourself
that what you allow yourself
is enough.
is what will do.
that this will do.

you allow the raveling
its simplicity.
you allow the humor
its power.
you allow life
a sheen.
you allow a sheen
to pass for life.
you allow yourself
to like it.